Death Sentence

my destiny is tightened around my neck like a noose and i
have been tipping my toes
on your fault lines, hoping
you wouldn’t let me down so often as to
wish me a jump to my final fall.

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Numbers.

Please know:
You will be a measure-
I will quantify you
And put numbers on the way you make me feel
And weigh every fault of mine
On a scale before
Serving it you.
You will turn into a
Measure of time;
I will chronicle
The chapters of my life
before and after you.
As if nothing quite the same as us
Ever came to exist.
The moments
Run past us in a blink.
Like a gentle wind,
Trying to whisper into my hear
To hold on tight and not let go.
You see my life has been a linear,
Simplistic timeline before you
And right now everything
Feels so muddled up like
We were tangled in the
Threads of my own thoughts.
After you, i’m afraid
I will think of all the times we had
And count every single mistake
That lead us closer to the final breaking.
And when you have finally left
I will close my eyes and
Count back to ten
Hoping that you would return.

Wax Doll

a wax doll
cowering beneath
your touch-
your touch is
the crackle of a match
striking volatility,
and lighting afire
every last wick
of my vulnerability;
my surface deftly
moving away,
drifting, like water
makes space for
bigger things-
and you’re the one that
brings life and death
anger and passion
at the same instant;
and so, I quiver away,
wax doll,
shy of fire,
hiding with shame,
running away to save grace.
i let you burn every inch of me,
and you, annihilate.
but what will you ever be
without me?

Love+Magic Tricks

Love is a death defying stunt only
some magicians master;
and your sleight of hand steals things from under my nose so deftly that I wouldn’t wonder
if you reached behind my ear and pulled out my entire heart out of your sleeve
finished my sentences before I started them
or made my sadness disappear at the count of three.

Love is a death defying stunt only
some magicians master;
for me, chasing you is like
defying gravity when my
arms are bound in chains
my body is immersed in water
and I’m hunting for the key-
it should’ve been in my pocket right next to that Polaroid of you and me but I bet it’s still kept somewhere from the day I decided I’d set everything I love free
So:
If one of these days I let you go too;
come back.
teleport into my life and we’ll make

love look like the greatest magic trick in history.

pr.

Between the Bars

On how Between the Bars by Elliot Smith makes me feel

warm;
as if my heart was dropped
into the comfort seat located
in the centre of a flower;
cocooned by soft petals
that cower above me,
curving their spines in my direction to protect;
that is how safe this melody sounds.
and embedded into it,
the sound of a voice
whispering in my ear
softly descending me into the difficult ease that only comes after you ignore your wordly problems so much that they cease to exist.
this voice is the warm cup of coffee

I curl my fingers around in winter.
this voice says that he will make things okay.
and I’m almost sure that he does.

pr.

A Prayer for Myself

It’s National Poetry Writing Month! Just like last year, I’m going to try and write a poem everyday. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to write on promts everyday, but I would love to try. Hope it turns out well!

Here’s today’s poem, on the prompt: A Prayer for myself.

Listen, you.
In the name of the past, the present and the holy future,
cut yourself some slack.
You are doing a wonderful job not crumbling under the weight of the circumstance;
I hope you continue to.
Let yourself not squander your happy moments.
Cruise pass your bad days by painting your toes bright blue like you always do and cleanse your mind of negativity-
wash gossip off of your mind before every meal, every drink and every breath.
Don’t just wash it off- scrape every last sign of it off of your brain.
If it comes to it, run away.
Run away to better, positive things, like you always do;
I cannot help but marvel sometimes, how you suck the marrow out of every situation and ultimately find what’s good-
keep that good really close to you.
Find that good in other people, then tell them about it.
There are enough critics in the world- be the one who spreads love;
Love: please, stop fearing that emotions will break you;
they will make you vulnerable, but for once, take down your mast, and let the waves guide your ship.
Start forgetting:
forget the words and ways that left you feeling hollow inside, forget your failures
But remember your mistakes,
learn from them.
When you think you know everything, try to learn more. Think more.
Listen, you.
There are millions of people in this world who will be ready to point out your faults and bring out your insecurities,
but only you are capable of flooding yourself with unconditional love that cannot be obtained from anywhere else.
Open the floodgates. Drown in

love;
me.

Beautiful Days

on some beautiful days,

I feel flowers bloom out of my chest:
fragrant and beautiful,
keen on insinuating peace and love.
when it’s happy, my heart wants to watch the world bloom too.

on some beautiful days,

I have to forfeit my flowers and happiness
to make others feel what I feel:
they heartlessly pluck out my roses and lilies by the roots,
and watch as the surface of my heart empties out in holes;
punctured, in the most violent way.

on some beautiful days,

I am yet to learn-
that this is the way of the world,
and it will go any length whatsoever
to make you feel as rotten as it is.