Story #34: Where To Find Good People (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

Hey. I am not a priest, not a soul guide, not a spiritual guru, nor do I have any special power. I am just another human with a standard issue brain and heart. Although I am not so sure why they blame it on the innocent little organ which essentially only pumps blood in our body. But it’s okay, I guess it must be used to it by now. Hopefully. But remember, it’s an opinion. So, don’t buy it like you buy stuff from a super market, think about it and if you find any loopholes, be sure to contact the lovely author of this initiative who will further re-direct your opinion to me. Trust me, I’ll need it. 

Goodness is something which makes sense, because honestly we see enough bad to adequately differentiate it from the good. There is no degree of goodness, there is just goodness. It is not a methodical process which requires learning, maturity or even education. It is something which is inherent in us, engineered in our brain somehow. But unfortunately, a number of people are swayed away from it at a very early stage. It may be the upbringing, the nightmarish childhood or a traumatic incident. Whatever it is, it steals their ability to act good to others, it is as sad as it sounds. I am not trying to justify the wrongdoers of the world, just saying that they have become this way, reversibly or irreversibly. 

We often use our standard human categorisation policies to put our acquaintances into one of the two boxes called – ‘good’ or ‘bad’. But trust me it is not that easy. Goodness or badness is hardly apparent, often camouflaged by moods, environment, notions and experiences. So it would be easier to let down the judgemental walls down that we build around ourselves and let some goodness flow into our lives. 
Now where the hell is this goodness? 
It’s right there. 

We all see it, when a waiter is extra polite to us. We feel it when a random stranger lets us board the metro before him. We feel it when a random woman is carrying 6 bags, still managing to hold her daughter’s hand while crossing the road. We see it when a cow licks off the dirt of another cow. We feel it when an infant smiles at us for no reason. We feel it when a middle-aged uncle returns your phone which you forgot at the restaurant. 
Sometimes the goodness is strong enough to come and knock your door directly. But other times you have to keep an open mind and look for it around you. Trust me, it’s there. Not necessarily in people, not necessarily in nature, not necessarily even on earth, but it’s there. Let’s try to feel it, let it pass the layers of pains and miseries. Into the soul it will go and it will give you a purpose, a purpose to live, to be someone else’s goodness. 

Thanks for reading through. Smile?


This story made me smile!

Well. So much negativity asserts itself in our surroundings, and makes its presence very obvious in our lives.  Our brains have become so accustomed to immediately thinking of a negative situation, that most of the times we become blind to even the possibility of something good happening. 

We need a certain amount of negativity in our lives to balance with the positivity. But imagine how the balance will fall, if we don’t see the good; if we don’t be the good. It will inevitably pave a way into pessimism. 

A lot of things change when we try to change our perspectives; when we try to look beyond the squares and shapes we’ve cut out for ourselves to use for viewing the world. If beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder, then certainly, happiness must also be found by someone who looks at the world with optimism. 

So, look for it; if you cannot find goodness around, find it within yourself. Foster it, then reflect it onto the universe, so that it finds its way back to you.

I’m sure it will.

-:-

Any opinions, comments or ideas that you may want to put forward to the writer of this story can be mailed to me at ratti.priya5@gmail.com. Positive feedback and constructive criticism are more than welcome. 

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns.)

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Story #33: The Lighthouse (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

Picture this – a little ship sailing out in the open sea. It’s all nice and calm. The sky’s clear and the annoying, noisy seagulls are surprisingly missing. Such beautiful peace! However, don’t be so easily fooled by this quiet, deceptive tranquility. The absence of those very same noisy birds doesn’t bode well. Heard of ‘the quiet before the storm’? And before you realize it, there are menacing, dark clouds crawling over the same clear canvas. The heavens split open as torrential misery pours down.

Just a tiny boat, a tiny boat that is no match for the giant waves rapidly approaching. You lose control over the wheel, there’s nothing but looming rocks, encompassing shadows and monstrous waves up ahead. Treacherous whirlpools and sweeping tides that silently linger to bait in clueless, naïve wooden preys, threaten to break and gobble you up. You’re but a mere wooden toy tossed and flung around by the tides that just might capsize you. They conspire to seize you and hold you down till all the fight leaves your being and all that’s left behind is a beaten down wreck in the very depths of the high seas. A wreck that wards off most and commands a presence that is answered only by nervousness and a silent wish to stay away.

You should know this though, this tiny boat is anything but tiny. It’s your existence. It’s as magnificent as any of the finest ships out there decked in its own unique grandeur. It is your life and as much as you’d like to always be in control, but there are times when that’s out of the question. There are so many monsters out in the sea looking such harmless vessels to wander out, testing the waters, so that they can find them at their most vulnerable state and devour them. One small blind spot. Just one Achilles’ heel. Just one little insecurity for them to hound upon.

But amidst this turmoil and chaos, for that one moment when the waters retreat, have you ever looked about? Or are you just too caught up in healing and recharging yourself for the next onslaught?

Sure, it’s important to heal and pull your guard back up. But just for a little while forget them. Let your guards remain down and look into the dark, dreary expanse of the night. What might appear to be camouflaged as an abysmal stretch, hides among its countless evanescent stars a single, sole light lower than the rest perhaps. A lighthouse.

A lone ray of brilliance to guide back the other solitary crafts. Just a tower to guide you back home. It doesn’t forsake your tiny meandering self. It doesn’t leave you alone with your own thoughts. There’s suddenly so much more to your life and there’s this tiny spark within yourself. A hope to possibly continue hoping and to survive. Even if it’s but a mere mirage, it still fills the lost nomad with a promise of there being a light at the end of the tunnel.

When surely all seems lost and you seem to be done for, don’t forget there are those who will guide you back. There were times I faltered and almost gave in to my demons. I could barely get back up from where I had fallen. The ones I relied on, my own blood, weren’t there for me. In fact, I wasn’t needed. I was just a mistake after all. I would like to make this about a story of true love, because who doesn’t love a romantic story once in a while! My apologies, but that didn’t happen.

Sure, I found love and soulmates. Yes, I say soulmates, with an ‘s’ , for they are my better halves. I hadn’t had the best experiences in friendship before but if there was something good that pain gave me – that was my own lighthouse. They scattered rays of hope for me to hold onto in my life and a drive to continue fighting.

The companions I cherish and always seek out, be it when my life’s caught up in a storm or not. They made me realize that even if my self is rendered into a formidable wreck, there are those select few curious minds that will set out to explore this same wreck. They will dive into the scary depths to find me all battered on the ocean-floor, only to preserve and put me back together again.

There are times I have been unable to express how they quite literally saved me from rotting away and breaking down. There’s now a drive in me to seek out this lighthouse, to wait for that occasional explorer, and to continue sailing and conquering the high tides.


This is the most beautiful analogy to life that I’ve read in a long, long time.

Life tosses and turns you over, but there is always that one source of light, that beacon of hope that shines in your darkness, telling you that there is a way- a way out. 

So you know you need to hang in there a little longer, if you’re not seeing your lighthouse just yet. Hang in there a little longer. It will find you, and in Coldplay’s words, lights will guide you home. When you do find that lighthouse of yours, hold on to it like you’ve never loved anything before. 

I hope you do. 

-:-

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)

Story #32: A Lesson Learned (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

‘Absolute disgrace; utmost disappointment’.

The words echoed in my head, as I faced yet another failure. At that moment, not winning the competition and its prize money seemed to me as if the world had come to an end.

While travelling back home , I glanced out of the window to see a nine-year old kid playing around in the scorching heat of the sun along with his sibling, with a content smile on his face which forced me to ponder over a question.

‘What exactly do we need to be happy?’

Is it a posh car? Or a luxurious bungalow? Or designer clothes and shoes?

But that kid did not possess any of these, yet he was joyous and satisfied . He had a serene smile on his face which was only because he knew the art of being content with what he had. 

By this I absolutely don’t intend to say that aspiring for better in life is wrong. However, I realised that while sprinting in the constant race of attaining and achieving more, I must never forget to value and make the most of what I am blessed with in life. 

I went up to him, wondering what I should say. When I stepped forward, I realized that there wasn’t any need for words and a smile could do wonders. We sat under a tree as he animatedly described his family and life. After an hour of conversation, he large heartedly offered to share half of his fruit with me. That day I found a friend half-my-age, who taught me one of the most valuable lesson of my life!

Sometimes, looking at others’ lives really puts things back into perspective for us. Seeing how some people are content with what they have, even when it is less than what they would like it to be, makes us wonder if we’re thankful enough for what we have. 

As I’d said in the last post, we can’t really compare ourselves to anyone. However, what we can do is learn to appreciate the things we have, rather than mourning over the things that we don’t- Because a lot of people have it bad, rather, worse than us. 

You may not really like or appreciate the things we have now, but they are most probably everything someone else wants. So be grateful, and practice reckless gratitude. Appreciate the things you have now, because you might not have them forever. 

 


Sometimes, looking at others’ lives really puts things back into perspective for us. Seeing how some people are content with what they have, even when it is less than what they would like it to be, makes us wonder if we’re thankful enough for what we have. 

As I’d said in the last post, we can’t really compare ourselves to anyone. However, what we can do is learn to appreciate the things we have, rather than mourning over the things that we don’t- Because a lot of people have it bad, rather, worse than us. 

You may not really like or appreciate the things we have now, but they are most probably everything someone else wants. So be grateful, and practice reckless gratitude. Appreciate the things you have now, because you might not have them forever. 

-:-

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)

Story #31: Comparison Kills Contentment (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

In a world that is constantly trying to change you, judge you and mould you… your real strength lies in standing up for what you believe in, working on yourself while being your true self.
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I’m sure you all have experienced “Existential crisis” at some point of your life. For me, it’s almost every week. There comes a time when I start questioning the purpose of my life, literally. I’m usually a very positive person but then one day I’ll just look around, see other people accomplishing so much, tapping bigger opportunities, doing great things in their lives, some of them my friends, and then I look at myself and uncontrollably compare my dull and anti climatic life to their extraordinary glamorous lives. This may sound really cliché but there are certain moments when I feel that maybe I’m not good enough and I’m not doing enough. It’s exactly what running on a treadmill feels like!
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Comparing ourselves to others is a basic human tendency, I guess. The persistent fear of lagging behind, FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and the sense of not being the best. And I hope I’m not alone. Looking at our over-achiever friends, the success of our colleagues, we fall into this deep state of introspection where usually we’re disappointed with ourselves, discouraged and not to mention, a little jealous.
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But then one fine day I read these three magical words somewhere (No, not ILY): Comparison Kills Contentment. These three words have really changed my perspective. Comparison is good if it improves us, but the moment it starts to lower our self esteem and makes us dislike ourselves is when it becomes harmful. A lot of times I subconsciously judge myself by looking at what others are doing. Even the little satisfaction left after I’ve accomplished something is totally ruined. The hard work I’ve put into my little big achievements seems nothing in front of what others seem to be doing. There is always someone better, someone prettier, someone a little more hardworking. I get stuck in this never ending cycle of disappointment. And not that comparison is always bad, it can be taken in a positive sense if it motivates and inspires us to become the better version of ourselves, but most of the times it leads to self loathing and can be extremely depressing. It makes us ignorant and ungrateful about our blessings, our capabilities. We become blind towards our own aims and aspirations.
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Easier said than done, but the moment you put your blinkers on, focus on your own goals, your own journey, celebrate your achievements and learn the lessons from your misgivings, is when you experience ultimate satisfaction and happiness. It’s about always giving it your best to everything that you do. However vague, unrealistic and little your dreams may sound, it’s all about dedicating yourself completely into fulfilling them.
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Here, I’d quote Albert Einstein: “Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.” Similarly, every individual is different, unique and capable in their own ways. The grass is always greener on the other side, only if you forget to water your own grass. Everyday is an opportunity to make yourself better, to grow, to achieve and to succeed. It’s about time that we start getting inspired, and not discouraged by other’s achievements. It’s about taking one step at a time, competing with your own self. And to be the best, you just have to become the best version of yourself.
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I have always believed that every human being is unique, and has their own way of doing things. So likewise, you can’t possibly say two people are the same; I mean, the might be similar, but not the same. So that brings us to the point that, if no two people are the same, how can we ever compare them?

We’re all humans (I hope) and our structures and functions are the same. But, the way we think, how we perceive the world, how we understand things; this is the stuff that varies. Perspectives. That’s what makes you, you. There is no room for comparison for things that aren’t the same. Your history, your emotions, your life experiences make you who you are; no one has experienced life exactly as you have. Embrace that fact. You are different, and thats what its all about.

Comparison kills contentment. The minute you start contemplating where you are in life in comparison to someone else, that’s where you start damaging all the progress you may have made. You don’t know what that person has been through, or how hard they have worked. Possibly, they have embraced themselves, in their individuality, and learned to take advantage of who they are. Maybe we can only make progress in life once we are at peace with who we are.

So be yourself; hopelessly, recklessly yourself. No matter how hard someone may judge you, no matter how many jokes they make. You are one of your kind, irreplaceable. Know that.

-:-

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)

Story #30: Feelings & Fears (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

I was pondering over which life instance I should write about but then, I chose to write about a feeling which hits me almost everyday. It’s the fear of not being good enough. No matter how hard I try, I am never enough for anyone or anything. The frustration and exhaustion it causes is inexplicable.
We live in a world where even being your own self isn’t good enough. Each one of us must have experienced those times when we think we’re not just worth it. Not good looking enough, not smart enough, not talented enough, not interesting enough, not funny enough, not good enough- that’s what’s on my mind all day, everyday. 
My self doubt, expectations, unrealistically high standards for everything and need for accomplishments crush my self esteem. I have a fear of letting people down. I feel so indecisive most of the times because I am afraid I am not good enough and that I am undeserving. 
I fear that I will never live up to the expectations I imagine that others have for me and that I have for myself. No matter how much I do for others and for myself, it’s never enough. I am tired of being treated as an option and not as a priority. Incompetency and inadequacy, comparisons and criticism, disappointment and despondency, fear and anxiety have crippled me. 
For me, self-deprecation is a way of life. It’s not perfection or attention that I strive for but it’s the acceptance I long for. I hope one day, I’ll be able to make everyone proud and overcome my insecurities. Till then, everything is totally okay.
I just need to get hit by a truck.

Our own thoughts make or break us. The way we see ourselves, shapes the majority of our actions. In psychological terms, the set of beliefs and perceptions we have about ourselves refers to self concept. So a positive self concept fosters positive self esteem and confidence, while a negative self concept brings them down, ultimately making one feel sad and depressed.
This is not related to the story as such. I just feel that our self concept is something very important, but often overlooked. How many of us actually focus on the positivity or the negativity of our inner monologues? How many of us work towards changing them for the better?
All of us, at some point of time are engulfed in thoughts of self depreciation, and doubt. This is the reason that I don’t consider myself fit to give a counter opinion or derive a lesson out of this one because I’m sailing in the same boat. 
But, I will suffice by saying that if we’re aware of the problem, then we’re one step closer towards solving it. I don’t know why I sound like such a psychologist today, but it’s just what I believe. You are the solution to all your problems. Talk yourself out of your self doubt; overcome or rather, embrace your insecurities. All you have is you, might as well love yourself. 
-:-
(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)

Story #29: Being A Teenager (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

Teenager: College, Studies, Friends, Relationships and what else?

Being a teenager, a college student, I was so excited about my new “college ” life. There I met a guy, and after a few months, we fell for each other (apparently) and got together. We went out for around 7-8 months. I was totally into that guy, always being a girl who lives in a dream world of having a perfect life , a perfect partner to be with for the whole life. But, maybe he was not even sure what he was doing. 

One day, he left. For some anonymous and a bit absurd reasons. I was shattered to the core that I didn’t want to get into this “relationship” thing ever again. 

I never met him again. After sometime I really didn’t even want to. But even after whatever he did to me, there is this one very important lesson which he taught me, and I am very thankful that he came into my life; “First, learn to love yourself” which he always did. I was so much into him, that I forgot how to live my own life. I thought that he was all I had. But no, you have a lot more to do than just getting into a relationship at this stage. Learn to prioritise. 

We talked about “What else?” in the beginning, it’s your Career, your Dreams which you need to achieve and fulfil.

I did believe in love, I do believe now. Presently, I am with someone, but now I have learnt how to live my life on my own terms and not handover my key to happiness to someone else. People do fall in love, people do live together but everyone has their own life too which you need to make a priority for yourself.

Your life has just begun. Enjoy. Work hard. Dream. Fall in love. But first, with yourself. 
From my personal view, I am a completely changed person from what I used to be a year ago, and honestly, I’m lovin’ it!


Adulthood brings us many new experiences, and with those new experiences, inevitably, a lot of learning. From school to college, from love to heartbreak, from success to failures we come across countless situations that test us, let us down and/or reward us, and entangled in these situations are the learnings of life.

Growth occurs with experience. We learn to love, but rarely love ourselves.

I think the one thing from this story that stands out the most, for me, is when she writes, “…But now I have learnt how to live my life on my own terms and not handover my key to happiness to someone else.” I think this sentence is the key to a happy life. Do not hand over your remote control to anyone; otherwise, it would be too easy for them to change you, manipulate you and maybe even hurt you. Do not hand over your permanent feelings to temporary people. 

-:-

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)

Story #28: A Lone Boulevard (The Anonymous Anecdotes Project)

Over the two decades I’ve managed to survive on this planet, the most important thing that I’ve realised is that life in fact, is a lone boulevard. You can try and make people stay with you all you want, but that is not going to happen. 

No matter how much you do for them, no matter how much you care for them or love them and no matter how many times you tell them how much they mean to you, they will eventually leave. Because that is the way life works and there is nothing you can do about it. People come and go according to ever changing circumstances, you can’t blame anyone about it. 

“Forever” is the biggest lie, we all promise each other, when none of us know how long that exactly is. 

Sometimes, these things really get to you. It doesn’t matter if it was a friendship or a relationship, when it ends, your heart breaks a little. But you need to realise that you cannot bind someone to stay with you. 

At the end, it depends on you, how you take it. You can be upset about it, you can overthink and blame yourself, but that isn’t going to achieve anything. You’re only going to end up hurting yourself.

The best solution is to have no expectations and becoming more independent. Whatever you do for someone, do not do it to oblige them or expect something in return for it. Become the right kind of selfless, but not to the point where people take advantage of you.

We all need to be comfortable in our own skin and appreciate the beauty of solitude, find happiness in being in your own company. The only person who will stick with you through everything is YOU.

Remember the energy you give out in the universe, eventually does find a way back to you.

Your entire life is a book, and the people you meet are merely chapters. Eventually, every chapter has to get over, only then the story can move forward.


I have, by now come across more than one stories that touch upon the subject of finding comfort in your company. It makes me so happy because I believe in it too much, and finding people whose stories actually propagate this view is amazing!

The writer couldn’t be more straightforward in her words. Yes, forever is an illusion that we entertain ourselves with, sometimes. Well, even if you think forever exists, you should be able to be with yourself and know that that is okay. As I have said before, there comes a time in our lives when nothing can pick us up from a downfall but ourselves.

So learn to love yourself, the most. Learn to let go. Remember that life is an echo: you get back what you give. Be positive and happy, and make others around you feel good about themselves. The universe will send the positive vibes back to you, all in good time.

-:-

(The Anonymous Anecdotes is a project under which anyone can send me a memory, a story or an experience from their life that had a profound impact on them. It requires people to write their respective experience along with the way it changed them or their perception of life. According to the project, these stories are being published anonymously, with the intent of spreading a positive message and a hope that anyone who reads, relates or learns. If you’re interested, you can send me your story at ratti.priya5@gmail.com.)